What if I Don’t Feel Thankful This Year?
Thanksgiving is meant to be a time of gathering and gratitude—a beautiful sentiment if we feel we have reasons to be thankful or can access that emotional state. I know some people say, “There’s always something to be grateful for,” and while that may be true, gratitude can often feel subjective. It really depends on the eyes of the beholder.
If I had experienced a significant loss, for instance, gratitude might not feel very accessible. That’s an extreme example, but we all endure our fair share of pain in life—grief, loss, illness, missed opportunities, divorce, accidents, or even drifting away from people we once held dear. For some, Thanksgiving might even highlight what’s missing. And you know what? That’s okay. It’s okay if gratitude doesn’t come easily this holiday season. Or if it does not come at all.
The Growing Pressure for Teens to Engage in Sexual Activity During the Early High School Years
One trend that came up clearly over the years is that many teenagers feel increasing pressure to engage in sexual activity earlier in their high school years. This pressure often comes from peers, sometimes friends, media, and/ or from a desire to meet perceived expectations from other people their age. While this can impact all teens, it’s especially challenging for young women, who may feel the weight of these pressures more strongly and often share with me that they “first time” was far from what they’d imagined.
When apologies are experienced as “too little, too late”
In her book The Drama of the Gifted Child, Alice Miller delves into the deep emotional wounds children can suffer when their emotional needs go unmet, especially when parents or caregivers fail to provide the emotional attunement and validation crucial during formative years. Miller points out that apologies from parents or caregivers—often offered long after the damage is done—can sometimes feel like "too little, too late."
Feeling Invisible: A Journey Through Pain, Healing, and Rediscovering Our Worth
There’s a deep and painful emotional experience that can leave someone feeling like they don’t truly exist—the feeling of invisibility. It’s a feeling that arises when others seem to look right through us, as if our presence is inconsequential, unnoticed. We painfully observe how those around us acknowledge others with a word, a gesture, or even a glance, while we remain unrecognized. This experience can be crushing. A part of us might wish to disappear entirely, to retreat to a safe space, away from the embarrassment and rejection. Deep down, the question forms: Why am I not worth being acknowledged? And often, this leads to an even more painful self-inquiry: What is wrong with me?
Navigating the Stormy Seas of Parenting Teens
Parenting teenagers can feel like navigating stormy seas. The once sweet, cooperative child you knew has morphed into a distant, secretive, and sometimes rebellious teenager. As a psychologist who works with teens, I assure you that your feelings of frustration, confusion, and even helplessness are entirely valid. You are not alone in this journey, and there is hope for restoring a sense of peace to your family life.
Helping women in their 40s and 50s navigate midlife changes
Women in their 40s and 50s are often navigating a complex and transformative period in their lives. Midlife brings about significant physical changes, particularly during perimenopause, as well as emotional and cognitive shifts that can impact our overall well-being. The physical and emotional changes of perimenopause and menopause can take a toll on women’s well-being. From feeling confused and overwhelmed to, in some way, mourning the loss of the youth associated with their 20s and 30s, this period can be incredibly challenging. Periods of change such as this one provide a rich opportunity to reflect on one’s life and how we adjust and adapt to experiencing the physical and emotional changes that are part of life.
Minimizing Regrets: Navigating Life's Choices with Reflection and Therapy
In the whirlwind of modern life, it's easy to get caught up in the constant motion, deadlines, and responsibilities without pausing to reflect on the path we're on. Yet, within the chaos lies a crucial question that often goes unasked until it's too late: Will the life we're living today bring a smile to our 85-year-old wrinkled face, should we be fortunate enough to reach that age?
Navigating Anxiety: A Journey of Self-Acceptance, Resiliency, and Growth
Do you ever feel like your anxiety is driving you "crazy"? If your answer is “yes,” please know you are not at all alone. Many, many teens and adults experience intense waves of anxiety can make them feel like their minds and bodies are spinning out of control. Their hands may sweat, their hearts race, and they might even feel that they have a hard time breathing. These physical symptoms can be terrifying, and when they become chronic, they can turn our lives upside down.
Unveiling Complex Trauma: Its Impact on Attachment Relationships and Healing
Complex trauma refers to a pattern of enduring psychological distress resulting from repeated and prolonged exposure to traumatic events or experiences that deeply affect an individual's sense of self, safety, and well-being. Unlike acute trauma, which often involves a single incident, complex trauma can stem from ongoing situations such as childhood abuse, neglect, or living in environments of chronic adversity and instability. While some forms of complex trauma could be more overt and sometimes more easily identifiable, complex trauma also encompasses a broader range of experiences that are often insidious and less visible. One example of complex trauma is being repeatedly invalidated or silenced, where an individual's thoughts, feelings, or experiences are dismissed, ignored, or invalidated by others. When we experience this treatment in our innermost circle it tends to lead to feelings of worthlessness, self-doubt, and powerlessness.
Embracing Anxiety: Is that even possible?
For adolescences the quest for a sense of belonging is both fundamental and at the core of their path during these formative years. As a psychologist working with teens, I have witnessed firsthand the profound impact that not feeling a strong sense of belonging can have on a teen's mental health. Not only their emotional well-being, but also their physical health and academic performance may be affected when teens have pervasive feelings of not belonging. Increased anxiety, depression, social isolation, and lowered self-esteem are some of the most common effects of feeling that we do not belong.