Women in their 40s and 50s are often navigating a complex and transformative period in their lives. As a psychologist specializing in psychodynamic, existential, and attachment-based approaches, I have worked with many women who face challenges during this time. Midlife brings about significant physical changes, particularly during perimenopause, as well as emotional and cognitive shifts that can impact our overall well-being.
Physical Changes During Perimenopause
1. Irregular Periods: One of the most common physical changes women experience during perimenopause is irregular periods. Menstrual cycles may become unpredictable, with periods that are closer together, farther apart, heavier, or lighter. This unpredictability can be frustrating and distressing, often disrupting daily routines and causing anxiety.
2. Hot Flashes and Night Sweats: Sudden feelings of intense warmth, often accompanied by sweating and redness, are hallmark symptoms of perimenopause. These hot flashes can occur during the day or night, leading to discomfort and embarrassment. Night sweats can disrupt sleep, contributing to fatigue and irritability.
3. Sleep Disturbances: Many women find it difficult to fall asleep or stay asleep during perimenopause. This can be due to night sweats or other factors such as anxiety and hormonal fluctuations. Chronic sleep deprivation can have a significant impact on mood, cognitive function, and overall health.
4. Weight Gain: Changes in metabolism during perimenopause can result in weight gain, particularly around the abdomen. This can be challenging and can lead to feelings of frustration and self-consciousness.
5. Hair and Skin Changes: Thinning hair and dry skin are common as estrogen levels decline. These changes can affect self-esteem and body image, contributing to emotional distress.
Emotional and Cognitive Changes
1. Mood Swings: Hormonal changes can lead to increased irritability, anxiety, or depression. Women may find themselves experiencing intense emotions that seem to come out of nowhere, making it difficult to manage daily responsibilities and relationships.
2. Changes in Memory : Some women experience difficulty concentrating or short-term memory issues during perimenopause. This can be concerning and may affect work performance and personal relationships.
3. Decreased Libido: A decrease in sexual desire is common during perimenopause, often due to hormonal changes and vaginal dryness. This can impact intimate relationships and lead to feelings of frustration or inadequacy.
Emotional Well-Being During Midlife
The physical and emotional changes of perimenopause can take a toll on women’s well-being. From feeling confused and overwhelmed to, in some way, mourning the loss of the youth associated with their 20s and 30s, this period can be incredibly challenging. In addition, many women in their 40s and 50s are raising children and dealing with the demands of work either at home or outside the home, which can add to the stress and emotional burden. They are often also a caregiver to their aging parents, in one capacity or another.
In my experience as a therapist, many women feel a sense of loss regarding how they used to feel and see themselves before these changes began. Periods of change such as this one provide a rich opportunity to reflect on one’s life and how we adjust and adapt to experiencing changes in our bodies and overall to being more acutely aware of the passage of time. It is absolutely normal to feel frustrated, upset, anxious, or sad when we notice these changes; sometimes we may even feel helpless and not know how to navigate these changes that always feel a bit unexpected and challenge the status quo of previous years.
“Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research.””
The Importance of Therapy
Therapy can be incredibly meaningful for women going through these changes. It provides a space to better understand and make meaning of what is happening to them. Many of my clients tell me they feel a unique satisfaction in knowing themselves more deeply and in feeling more in control of their lives and their path.
1. Creating Space for Reflection: Therapy allows women to intentionally create a space for themselves to reflect on their experiences and emotions. This can help them make sense of the changes they are going through and develop strategies to cope with them.
2. Addressing Emotional Challenges: From an emotional standpoint, therapy provides a safe space to discuss and disclose any and all feelings about what they are experiencing. It can be overwhelming to deal with the physical changes of perimenopause on top of the demands of daily life, and therapy can offer much-needed respite and support.
3. Enhancing Self-Understanding: Working in therapy helps women to explore how the changes in their bodies impact how they see themselves, what they enjoy doing, and their level of energy. This deeper self-understanding can make the changes a. bit more bearable and help women feel less alone in their journey.
4. Improving Relationships: Therapy can also help women navigate changes in their relationships. For example, partners, particularly men, may have difficulty fully understanding what is happening as this is something they personally do not experience. Therapy can provide a space to explore these dynamics and improve communication and support within relationships.
Putting it all together and finding support
Midlife and perimenopause bring about significant physical and emotional changes for women. While these changes are normal and to be expected, they can be emotionally heavy and challenging to navigate. Therapy can provide a supportive and empowering space for women to process their experiences, develop coping strategies, and enhance their overall well-being. If you are in your 40s or 50s experiencing these changes, consider reaching out for support by scheduling a free 20-minute consultation at calendly.com/drperolini. Together, we can work towards making this transitional period a time of growth and self-discovery.
To read more about my work you can visit drperolini.com/anxiety-counseling or drperolini.com/depression-counseling
Cheers to making a space for ourselves!
Dr. P
