Are You Struggling to Feel Confident and Fulfilled as a Teen?

Being a teenager—what a wonderful and also challenging stage of life this can be! Full of possibility, characterized by change, and certainly a period in which we are continually negotiating our growing independence. It is no wonder adolescence can be so complex—joyous at times and painful at others. We feel emotions strongly, and in the midst of so much “growing up,” setbacks can feel incredibly upsetting or, at times, even insurmountable. We may feel more vulnerable than at any other time in our life, and it can seem like no one understands or fully respects our individuality.

As a teen, your mood may change from one day or moment to the next, leaving you confused or self-conscious. You may be overly critical of yourself or feel misunderstood in a world that at times seems hostile or alienating. As the parent of a struggling teen, you might worry that you are losing touch with your child. You may wish there was more you could do to help your teen feel happy, confident, and secure, but you aren’t sure where you can turn to find support.

Teen Challenges Make Sense, and You Are Not Alone

Probably no other stage in life brings about so much change as our teenage years. It is only natural to have a hard time making sense of all the aspects of our lives that are unfolding, evolving, and/or solidifying during adolescence. 

• As teens, our relationships with friends, peers, romantic partners, and family members may be evolving, shifting, or changing. There is a natural desire to feel understood and accepted, but we also want to be true to who we are as an individual, and it can be difficult to negotiate the tension that may arise as we learn how we want to be in relationships. 

• Many teens also feel pressure to perform at school, and it is easy to get lost or feel anxious due to the weight of the responsibility and expectation. 

• Last but not least, adolescents often struggle with concerns about body image, at times viewing their bodies as a source of sadness, frustration, anger, or perhaps overall low self-esteem. The pressures in our society to look a certain way, and the fact that certain looks are often equated with success, popularity, or “coolness” only heightens the pressure that you may feel and the (often unrealistic) standards that you may compare yourself against. In addition to academic and societal pressures, many adolescents find themselves struggling with decisions and challenges related to teen sexuality and alcohol use, as well as how to handle bullying, cyber-bulling and relational aggression.

Navigating the teenage years may be a smooth process for some, yet the majority of us go through periods of stress, uncertainty, and doubt. And, wanting a space for yourself that you can consistently rely upon is in no way a sign of failure or weakness. In fact, an openness to reflect on your own life experience—your desires, your hurts, your dreams, your pain, your wishes—is a sign of strength and maturity that can help you find personal growth and satisfaction in the long term.

Fortunately, effective psychotherapy has the potential to help you (and, in turn, your family) navigate the many changes you are experiencing as a teenager. Effective therapy may result in greater emotional and physical energy, smoother family/peer relationships, and increased clarity about who you are and who you want to become.

You Do Not Need to Figure Everything Out By Yourself

The steady presence of a knowledgeable, sensitive teen therapist can make the difference between merely “surviving” the adolescent years and using the challenges you are confronted with as a springboard to deepen self-awareness, insight, self-compassion, and inner strength. Psychotherapy can help you make sense of the different challenges that your are experiencing as an emerging adult, be it in the area of relationships, school, career, body image, or any other aspect of your life.

I see teen therapy as the bridge from where you are and how you feel now to a stronger, more confident you. As a teen therapist, I aim to foster a safe, protected space where you can gradually find your own voice and reconnect with your own wisdom, which is ultimately where the answers lie. You can feel the freedom and safety to discuss and reflect on sources of anxiety, depression, or any other debilitating symptom you may be experiencing.  Or, if you aren’t sure about what may be triggering distressing thoughts and emotions, therapy can be a space where you can discover and formulate new answers for yourself. Making a deliberate space for your thoughts, feelings, and emotions in therapy can allow you to “breathe” a bit more easily, reconnect with your inner strength, and, over time, fully trust in your own worthiness. 

You may look forward to having a space that is truly yours, yet you (or your parents) may still have questions…

How can I know when I need therapy?

Oftentimes our feelings are a good indicator that teen therapy may be beneficial. It may be that you have tried multiple times to address and resolve the challenges that you are facing, yet you may still find it difficult to effectively manage the many changes and challenges in your life. Or, maybe you have been dealing satisfactorily with challenges and you just want the additional space and support of a professional to help navigate questions and complexities with greater ease.

In either case, a teen therapist can help you navigate this stage of life in a way that feels more empowering while helping you connect with a greater sense of possibility and choice.   

Why do you list adolescents separately? Is teen anxiety or teen depression different from that of adults?

In my belief and experience, adolescents deal with a different set of life circumstances than most adults. The challenges you are experiencing and the issues that you are grappling with are unique to the adolescent years. Adolescence is a distinct period in life in which we are exposed to and implicitly expected to learn from a host of new experiences, environments, relationships, etc. And with this stage of personal growth naturally comes new challenges, both things that happen “out there” in our environment, as well as internal areas or aspects that we may feel a need to discuss, reflect on, or make sense of in a safe place that we can call our own. In therapy, we will work together to better understand the unique challenges you face as a teenager. And, with greater clarity about the sources of your pain and about who you are as an individual, answers often start to emerge.

I am worried my parents will know what we talk about in therapy.

Many teens have questions about issues of confidentiality. On the other hand, if you are the parent, you may worry that you will be left out of this process and you won’t know what is going on with your adolescent in therapy. Trust is extremely important in a therapy relationship, and confidentiality is a key component for “real” work to take place. The issue of confidentiality is so important to our work together that we will take time to discuss it at the outset of treatment.

Barring certain exceptions, the specific content of what the adolescent discusses in therapy remains confidential unless there is any issue that I believe may put the adolescent at risk. In these cases, I will discuss the issue with the adolescent first and then make every effort to decide in conjunction with the adolescent what is the best approach to discuss these matters with the caregivers.

As a parent, it can be extremely hard to drop off your son or daughter every week knowing that he or she is discussing personal matters but not knowing the content of what is being discussed. By all means, your son or daughter can share with you whatever he or she feels comfortable sharing about therapy, but it is important for him or her to make this decision. Your support on respecting your teen’s confidentiality is essential if he or she is going to feel comfortable sharing his or her experience. Rest assured that if there is, in my clinical opinion, any concern that involves your child’s safety, you will be involved.

You Can Relax Knowing You Are On Your Journey

If you are considering therapy to find the support you need through this unique and challenging period of life, or if you have additional questions about teen counseling, please do not hesitate to schedule a free 20-minute initial consultation by clicking below. I look forward to connecting with you and learn more about how I may be of help.

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Testimonial

“We had the opportunity to work with Dr. Perolini several years ago while she was still in New York City.  Soon after she came on board it became clear that Claudia had several qualities that would make her stand out—her ability to create a safe space where clients felt comfortable opening up about their lives, her commitment to her clients and overall to the work of psychotherapy, and her strong work ethic were particularly noteworthy.  We just “knew” every time that we assigned a student to Claudia that he/ she would be provided with therapeutic conditions that allow for growth and healing to unfold.  One of Claudia’s most significant strengths is her willingness to be impacted by the work that she does; a trait which inherently fosters a strong therapeutic relationship. She does not shy away from being emotionally present for her clients even when witnessing so intimately the pain of others may be painful for us as clinicians. Having had the chance to observe her work with many students at our Counseling Center, I can confidently say that I would highly recommend Claudia to any adolescent/ young adult looking to freely reflect on his/ her life through the process of psychotherapy."

- Licensed Staff Psychologist, NYC